there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
