so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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