Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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