why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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