He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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