I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
