is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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