The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Success! We fucked roommates!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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