the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize