He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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