i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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