Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
