are you so shy because you have an std?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
