Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
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High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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