we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
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Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
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Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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