is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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