she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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