I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
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you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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