You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
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Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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