Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
