She said her name was "party"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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