It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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