At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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