all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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