I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
