I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
there was a trapeze. enough said
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
