I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
