see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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