yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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