I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
