Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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