My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
