i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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