But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
