??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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