if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize