I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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