Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
