We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
There's even glitter on my cock...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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