We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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