Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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