Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
