Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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