Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
