I accidentally had phone sex last night
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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