Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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