I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
