either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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