I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
