Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
