there was a trapeze. enough said
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
