i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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