I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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