I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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