i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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