its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
