she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
