oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
