i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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