What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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