You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
