Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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