Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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