So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Im part way to drunk.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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