Duck Duck Cougar?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
