CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
